Cognitive Bias: 2 of 25 Liking/Loving Tendency

This is definitely one of my favorite biases. There is so much psychology behind this bias because the power of love is so strong. There is a loophole, of the brain, where you will overlook certain flaws if you like or love a certain person, item, job, belief, etc. You brain will literally block out certain details or trick yourself to believe that these flaws are acceptable. The reason your brain does this is because humans yearn for the feeling you get from being liked or loved. People want to be accepted. Love is a strong feeling. It will overpower your common sense abilities. Self-awareness, of this bias, will save you a lot of headaches, in your life.

Marketing campaigns use this bias all the time. Have you ever purchased something because a celebrity you loved was in a commercial? Ever overlook a product issue because you love a specific brand? It has happened to me quite a few times (more than I thought when I reflected back). This is a genius strategy to increase sales. For some reason, the brand Apple has a cult following. I recently purchased an iPhone and it is pretty nice. But man there are some Apple Nazis out there! Apple has not come out with that great of laptops, recently, and their following continues to buy them even though there are cheaper, better performing options out there.

Family and lovers are the ones that enforce this bias on us the most. Now don't get me wrong no one is perfect! It is important to know that being hung up on shallow flaws and forcing yourself to see those are not the goal of this post. That is how emotionally abusive relationships occur. This bias does have the power to keep you in abusive relationships. Ever wonder why that girl stays with the boyfriend that hits her (and vice versa)? Fear is a huge factor but so is this bias. She keeps thinking back to the good times of when they first fell in love and how magical it was. That is effect, of this bias, on our better judgment. The same goes for family members. Sometimes things just don't click. Don't force yourself to put up with something if it is making your miserable.

Here is my favorite example, of this bias, that I love sharing with people. I have experienced and even witnessed numerous times where people will overlook the flaws, of their jobs, for a specific reason. We will put up with being temporarily miserable just because we like or love something that we don't want to lose. The one I experienced myself was the team I worked with. The family that owned the company I worked for were the most unethical people. They would treat employees poorly, bait and switch them, take away pay, etc. and I overlooked this because I loved my team so much! They were some of the nicest, hardworking people I ever worked with. This was enough to allow me to overlook the unethical nature of this family owned business. I see it happen all the time. Awareness, of this bias, will allow you to see these flaws and take action to prevent suffering. When I realized I needed to leave was when I reflected on all the teams I worked on, in the past. You will always work with great people. Very rarely will your coworkers and team not be amazing people. There are great people everywhere you go!

I just read the book about Elon Musk. It is fascinating to me how many people follow him and believe in him. He works people to the bone and demands greatness. He is an overlord throughout his companies and if you don't conform to his wished you are minced meat. People love working for him because his cause is so powerful. His employees know that their work life balance is way off but they overlook it. They love Elon (for the most part) but more so his causes. They want to make an impact on the world. They like or love the cause so much that they will suffer in other areas, of their lives. It is so interesting to me.

I have a theory that the reason that people don't act on these flaws more is because the fear of change. People hate change. It baffles me how much people hate it. I think that this fear of change enhances this bias. Both of those act as mental blockages that you put up with until the tipping point occurs. Love and fear are some powerful feelings!

There are ways you can prevent yourself from getting burned, on this bias. Self-awareness is the first step. Ever since I became aware of this bias I see it everywhere. Just look out for it and you will see it too. Slowing down and listening to your instincts is another thing. Add time to decisions. Time will allow your brain to process information more efficiently. If you have that gut feeling that something isn't right, listen to it. Love is so difficult to overcome but just know that you will be liked or loved again, in the future. It is the circle of life. It is imperative to remember that certain flaws are alright! Don't be a perfectionist. Finally, talk it out with someone. Talking over a decision with a loved one or friend that can see the situation from afar can help you make better decisions. When you are you are in the forest all you can see are trees. When you are away from the forest you can see the whole picture. That applies to this situation. While this all applies to the liking/loving tendency it works in opposite fashion with disliking/hating tendencies.

Let me know your thoughts on this cognitive bias! Share any pointers that you know of on how to look out for this bias that I have not shared.

-Cody